Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Confessions of a Frustrated First Time Marathoner


I run.


I love to run when I’m stressed, I happen to run when I’m emotionally feeling heavy and I like to run before I go to Fridays, Applebee’s and buffets. We all have reasons why we run. When everything seems easier, I tried to push myself more. Then I thought of getting more serious. From where I am now (Doha, Qatar), there are very few running events I can join to, but still there are few 10k’s, 5k’s where we can easily participate. I ran my first 10k last November 2011 in Doha College 10k, got sub-1hr clock and only that time I felt good about myself again. Joining several 5k’s and 10k’s come across Qatar and it was fun, I had also encouraged few friends to join in small races and it was a success. 

My Lunarglide+ 3
My Lunarglide+ 4 I used in long runs
Come July 2012, me and my friends were on a drinking session (which we do after a weekend long run) has decided to level up our running potentials. There is this big event happening on January 25th 2013, the Standard Chartered Dubai International Marathon and I decided to participate on this race. Full of courage, determination and confidence, we arranged a 16 week training program adapted to one of our running buddies who happened to run on this marathon a few years back.

LG+ 3's mileage
Last October 2012, I started training for my first marathon. As a so called runner for the past three years, this is my longtime dream and on my opinion, I can only certify myself as a true runner if I have completed a marathon (we’ll that’s just only my assumption).  Every Friday is my day-off to work so starting on October 5th; my 16 week training has begun.

By the way, before this marathon craze started, me and my friends created a running group two years ago (I think we founded it 11 October 2011). Doha Takboholics by its name, a group of Filipinos living in Doha, Qatar, who loves running (of course). We formed this group just to get organized with our weekly long runs and share some points, tips or advices through our own personal experiences, the benefits and advantages of running and to what it did to our lives.

Back on the training, I adopted to follow TBR Marathon Training Plan for Beginners, which has its main goal of letting the trainee finish a marathon, not to break PR’s, not to get sub-5hrs time. I followed this program since this is my first time to run a full 42.2km. 

All is well come November till December; every Friday long run was fun. Long runs were very organized, water stations, timings, everything is going well as planned. The long run is very important since this is the part of the training where our endurance will be tested and on my experience, this is where I gained confidence going farther on my runs. Of course there are also these weekday runs (7km to 10km runs) which I called maintenance runs just to prep or condition myself for the weekend long run ahead.
My 16 week training log posted on my office walls

On January 4, 2013 – Week 14, three weeks before the main event, a scheduled 28km was set. I felt a bolt of pain inside my right knee as I approach my 26km mark. I put my running on hold for a few seconds by walking and trying to listen to my body. I felt the pain for a few more steps and felt no sign of relief as I go along the way to finish the distance. Walking along Corniche, my heart starts to tremble; I panicked, and felt scared and discouraged. I still tried to get through the 28Km. length of the run and upon reaching the finish point; I am struggling to make a few more steps on the way to my car to get hydrated. I sat down on the sidewalk curb and started to realize that I did something wrong, I have gone too fast too soon. I didn’t take control of my run, I just let go of my pace unaware of the consequences it may give. This is my attitude, I felt no pain, that is why I push, that is because I know I can still give more, but it’s wrong. I came to a point that I realized I should have done less. It’s too late, harm has been done.

This is not the first time I experienced this pain, last year, it was my left knee that had the same discomfort. I ran from 20km to 40km per week which is supposed to be done on few increments before trying to get the distance. I managed to recuperate from that left knee pain by doing less on my runs and starting slow all over again. Same story; going too fast too soon and not learning from the mistakes of the past.

My Nike GPS watch to log and monitor my runs
Back on my training, the push I am feeling along the 16 week period has gone bad. I skipped my weekday runs by doing spinning cycles and leg workouts just to divert the pain and improve my seldom used muscles by cross-training. Come week 15, our scheduled 32km was cut to 21km as majority of the group decided to taper our long runs. I managed to finish the 21km without pain by running on a slow even pace. I also tried to tape my knees which I think has made a big help supporting my patella. Until the last week of our training, a 16km easy run was done capping off our 16 week marathon training last 18 January 2013. It feels good I have finished the training days and get past the pain and injury along the way.  

Now the excitement has doubled, race day is on Friday the 25th of January and supposed to be flying to Dubai by Wednesday the 23rd as planned. Shoes, dryfit socks, race belts, tapes, gps watch, shorts, singlets, sunscreen, visors, eyeglasses, camera, creams, pain relievers, permits, passport, hotel booking and plane tickets are all checked.

January 23, 2013 and departure time has come and as soon as I am in front of the check-in counter, the crew holds me for Visa concerns. I am supposed to get UAE Visa upon arrival at Dubai Airport, since I am an Engineer and it is normal practice here for professionals going to UAE. Suddenly the crew approached a senior officer and they both talked to me about my residence ID expiration date which is 1st April 2013. I asked them what the problem is, and then their reply was I should have at least three months before the expiration date on my residence ID to be allowed to have visa upon arrival in UAE. Blood goes up in my head, my eyes turned hot, I told them nobody informed me of the fact that this is the requirement, I even asked the airline ticketing office before I purchased my ticket to clearly verify my eligibility to get visa as soon I will arrive in Dubai.

The race bib I'm supposed to wear on race day
I managed to keep my composure that time by not feeling upset. Then I got the option to acquire visa through a friends’ referral in Dubai. I applied new tourist visa that same time I was put on hold at the check in counters. Sadly my airline has to leave and my promo tickets became trash. I am so upset when I left that departure area. I just tried to keep relaxed and kept in mind that this may affect my performance come race day on the 25th. Sleepless nights and bad dreams occur on the nights of the 23rd. Every now and then I am refreshing the mail app of my iPhone just to make sure if visa has been emailed to me but sadly I haven’t receive one till morning time.

I keep on waiting until the 24th and still my tourist visa has not yet been issued. I tried another option of renewing my present residence ID but unfortunately it cannot be processed as quickly as I wanted. I prayed and hoped the visa will be on time before I book for a new flight.

It’s already 8pm, Thursday 24th January; my friends participating on the event was already in Dubai. I felt the urgency once more and still hoping to receive the visa that evening. I checked flights and the only remaining option I got is the 1:00AM and 2:35AM flights to Dubai.

The visa I'm waiting came a day after the race.
Until it is 10pm, the flights were closed, the visa was still on process and I am dead tired and numb. Tears started to fall on my eyes as I tried to reply one of my friends’ text message. I surrendered to the challenge, I failed to do my best, but I still tried my options and still fail. I go back to bed teary eyed, my head starts to feel pain and my chest so heavy I wanted to scream out loud in my room. Flashbacks of my training days haunted me, the pain I felt on week 14 and my recovery from that injury, the happiness of that rainy morning of week 13 when I ran 21km in full rain, that 32km run where I had sub-4hrs clock and felt no pain and the taste of the GU gel my friend gave me not knowing it should be eaten and drank with water. Still on my bed, I reflect of the pain this event gave me and thought this is the second most painful thing that happened in my life after my breakup from a previous relationship.

Doha, Corniche where I run on weekends
25 January, 2013, race day, I felt pity and sadness to myself for what happened to me. I cannot deny the truth I am hurting. I just put in my mind that today is not the right time for me. Maybe it’s my friends’ time, but not mine. I’m proud and happy they all finished the race. From a circle of beer drinkers to full marathoners, I am really honored to be their friend.  I have many responses from friends who knew I failed to join the marathon. They have the same worries that I may stop running or I may not have the drive to run again. I am thankful for them, sincerely appreciated their concern and most the important is they still believe in me.

My longest run by far
That same afternoon, I grab my singlet, wore my shorts and put on my running shoes. I went out of the villa and run. I run for my friends, I run for their success. I finished my 12km, not 42km, but still with my head looking up, unbowed.

Still, I run.

I run because it helped me move on with my last relationship, I run because our salary is delayed for three months, I run because my father is diabetic and as a cause for those experiencing the same illness, I run because I am fat (not now, this was an old reason why I run) and I run because I’m still figuring out what to do in my life. 

We all have reasons why we run.

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